To start at the beginning or somewhere close I will start with my belief (however crazy it was) that I could not become pregnant. Actually a doctor had told me years before that my chances of getting pregnant were small due to a history of irregular periods and other difficulties. This advice was fairly accurate as I hadn’t been careful for a long time and never got pregnant. As a matter of fact with my current boyfriend we were doing absolutely nothing to prevent pregnancy and it took two years. I knew I was playing with fire of course but I was basically told it was impossible.

So when I started feeling a little bit weird and I was late I didn't think anything of it. Not really.

I am an English teacher in Taiwan and on the day I was out on my lunch break to buy candy for the kids that I teach. While I was at the store I picked up a test. I was so sure that I wasn't pregnant that I took the test in the public washroom. I was really shocked and not really in the best place to find something like that out.

I confirmed my pregnancy later that day at a clinic and found out that I was only three weeks. I wasn't exactly sure what to do. Being in a foreign country and pregnant was scary. I asked for and received a lot of advice on what to do. I told doctors that it is hard for me to conceive and had two of them tell me to keep it. I finally decided that I was not ready. The father told me that he would support any decision that I made and said he would marry me etc. I could tell that his heart wasn't in it and after a lot of thought I knew that mine wasn't either. I realized that I would want children one day but not now and also came to terms with the fact that this might be my only chance. I would like to be able to provide the best for any child that I have, so knowing that I was not in the situation to do so was the deciding factor.

I had a surgical abortion two weeks after I found out at a clinic that was recommended to me from a website that deals with various issues that foreigners face in Taiwan. I didn't really know what to expect. They put me to sleep, so I fell asleep pregnant and woke up not pregnant anymore. I am happy that it happened that way. I really thought that it would be traumatic and it wasn't. They let me sleep as long as I wanted and I woke up with my boyfriend beside me reading to me out loud. I had minimal bleeding and only a little pain. My mood swings that were quite severe disappeared as did the fatigue and nausea.

I no longer think that I can't get pregnant of course and am actively preventing the possibility. Having an abortion was a hard decision for me and if I get pregnant again I want it to be with joy. I know that this was the best thing for me and have no regrets.