I had always been pro-choice, but had never thought I would actually have to come to terms with the word. In April of 2004 I found myself about 7 weeks pregnant (after several negative tests – girls beware!) from a man I didn’t love, or really even like. I was 24 years old and getting ready to graduate from college. The pro-lifer would, I am certain, ask “then why were you with him, a man you didn’t love?” In response, I will give you several reasons. 1.) I was lonely. Believe it or not, smart, normal grown-up people sometimes get very lonely and sexual expression, whether smart or not, is an affect of that loneliness. 2.) I am an alcoholic. As we all know, alcohol (a little or a lot) can impair judgment greatly. Now, make it known that I am not bringing up my alcohol issue to make you feel sorry for me, but rather to identify the various reasons why a woman SHOULD NOT become a mother. I was on several anti-depressants at the time, as well as abusing alcohol. Please make it known that the decision to have an abortion for me was NOT about being selfish but rather about being selfless. Truth be told, I felt something maternal, even early on, for this “thing” in my tummy, but KNEW that 1.) It would probably not be well or develop properly due to my alcohol problem and 2.) I would in no way be able to provide it with a healthy body to live in for 9 months. At the time I weighed less than 100 pounds and was extraordinarily unhealthy, thus, even my OWN life, with the responsibility of giving birth to a child, was in jeopardy. My doctor even told me so. So, I had the abortion at 8 weeks. I will not lie: it was painful, but it only lasted about 5 minutes and the after-effects were almost non-existent. Though I had slight cramping afterwards for about a day, the feeling of relief was incomparable to the stress and anxiety I felt when I was pregnant. Please, if you are in a situation like me, where you are unhealthy and realize you could not provide a nurturing body for a human life to live in, please go ahead with this decision. I don’t think you will regret it.
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