I'm not the type of girl to actually have a "boyfriend". I'm kind of more of a player type of girl, but not really. I just have a couple guys that I normally sleep with, I try to normally keep about three in rotation. As was said on "Sex and the City," I don't believe that I can get everything that I need from just one man. So, back in the end of January, I was kind of seeing this new guy. We finally had sex for the first time and we did use protection. Normally, I don't wait for sex, I just do it pretty much as soon as I can. I really liked this guy and I was even considering some sort of relationship with him, he was not the father. Well, he sent me a text message, for the second time, two weeks later saying that he wanted a relationship with some other chick that he had been seeing. So, that was pretty much that for him.

After that happened, I called one of my other boys, let's call him T, and ended up going to his house the next weekend and of course sleeping with him. The next weekend a boy that I had fallen for but ran away from me, let's call him L, came back to me and wanted to see me again, so I went over to his house for the next two weekends after I saw T. After all this I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I was pregnant, but I didn't want to admit it to myself. I had already had two miscarriages. One of them could've been L's and the other one could've been T's, but I'm not really sure on those either. I thought I could possible miscarry this one and that I wouldn't have to worry about it. It was beginning of March and I finally got me the home pregnancy test and of course I tested positive. So, I went to the doctor and they just told me the same thing.

I was expecting to keep the baby, considering I don't really believe in abortion. I used to believe in a woman's right to choose, but I never thought that I would choose to do it. I still thought, maybe I'd be lucky and miscarry, even though that is the worst thing that any woman could ever go through. I called to make an appointment to get a check-up and ultrasound and all that, I mostly just wanted to know whose it was, because I wasn't really sure. Unfortunately, I wasn't on birth control and I am terrible about using condoms. I know that's terrible and it is all my fault that I got pregnant, but you can't change things now. T probably would've supported me, but L, I hadn't talked to him since the last time we slept together, he started being the jerk that he always is and began to ignore me, so I just wrote him off altogether.

I didn't tell the guys that I was pregnant, I did tell my mom and some of my better friends about it. My friends were going to support me no matter what I chose, but they believed an abortion would be best. My mom and grandma were all happy, ready to have another grandchild.

So, what made me come to the decision to have the abortion? I was sitting at T's house one weekend and I was just sitting there trying to think of how I was gonna tell him, especially since I didn't know whose it was and I wasn't for sure that I would even know after the ultrasound. I decided that I didn't want to tell him, I didn't want to have to tell him. Our relationship was so fresh, I do like him a lot and I could see us together as more than just fuck-buddies, and I've been kind of hoping that would happen. I knew though that this pregnancy could do one of two things to our relationship. Either, push it to go faster than it should, or make it disappear altogether. I wasn't ready for either of those options, and I'm not ready to have a child. I may be 26 years old, but I'm not financially stable enough to take care of a baby. I can barely even take care of myself. I go to school and work full-time, I don't have time to take care of a baby and I absolutely refuse to quit school or work.

Once I made the decision it was easy for me to go along with it. I called and cancelled my doctor's appointment because the place I was going to didn't do abortions. They referred me to Dr. Boyd here in Albuquerque and so I called to make an appointment for that weekend to get my abortion done. I know it was quick, but I needed to get it over with. I had been stressing so bad about being pregnant that I had to know it was done.

So, I went in on Friday morning, I chose then because I was off for the weekend. I work graveyard shifts for a hotel and I have Friday and Saturdays off. I was expecting it to be terrible. I was expecting something kind of like my miscarriages more than anything. I was also expecting to be sad and crying after it was done. It was absolutely nothing like I expected. The people at the doctor's office were so nice and so comforting. They made sure that I was comfortable and happy the whole time. I was 12 and a half weeks along. The procedure did not hurt. They gave me pain medication, plus they gave me laughing gas to help the pain too. I cramped a little after it was done and bled for about 2 days until it finally died. I have been spotting a little every once in a while for the past two weeks, but it's pretty much all done now. Unfortunately, the antibiotics gave me a yeast infection which kind of sucks, but I'm taking care of that. After it was done, I was so relieved, I was the happiest I had been since the end of January when this all started. I still am actually. I went and had lunch with my best friend and I was even able to drive myself home. I had another friend come over that night just to make sure I was okay.

The thing I was mostly worried about was telling my mom. It took me a week to finally tell her. When I did, I was shocked because she was a lot more open-minded than I was expecting. Of course, she was disappointed and she will probably always give me a little bit of a guilt trip about this for the rest of my life, but at least she's still supportive of me no matter what.

I did look back and found out that the baby was L's. I didn't find this out until after the abortion, so that is another reason why I'm happy about it. I really didn't want to have the jerk's baby, but that really had nothing to do with why I got the abortion.

So, I don't regret this whatsoever and I am very glad that I had the choice. While I was in the recovery room, I was talking to this girl who had to take a bus all the way from El Paso to Albuquerque in order to get her abortion. I felt so sorry for her and I was very glad that I live in a city in a country that gives me the right and choice to have a baby or not. I really don't think that I could ever do adoption, I can't carry a baby to term and then give it to somebody else, hell no! So, this was definitely the best choice for me right now. Eventually, I do plan on having children, even if I do have to be a single mother. But, I don't plan on having a child as a single mother until I'm at least 35. I still have 9 years to go. I will finish school and be much more financially stable by then, so it will be easier.

Thank you for letting me tell my story. I do hope you publish this because I think it'll be good for those people that were just like me to hear that it's okay to not regret it. You have to do what's right for you, not what other people want for you to do.