Back in July I had an unfortunate experience with a condom breaking with a guy I've known about a year, cared for very much, but not in the...I want to spend the rest of my life with you way. And even though I am on a form of the pill, I'm pretty paranoid so I went and got plan b. So I was sure I wouldn't be pregnant. I went through August with a light period and then just never got it in September. And then I noticed I had gained weight, and was emotional, sick and had to pee all the time. So I told my suite mate the deal and she took me to Wal-Mart at 11pm on Monday to get a test. I took both tests. Both were positive. I passed out and when I came to I freaked out. I called my best friend from home and the "father" of the baby. I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood to confirm.

Well they confirmed it all right and told me I was 11-12 weeks along. And that in order to get an abortion done I'd have to act fast. So I called the place in Winston-Salem and they couldn't take me so I panicked and called the more expensive place about 3 minutes from my school that may not take me because of how many weeks I was. They took me and today I showed up with my suite mate. The one protester out front was yelling at us from behind a fence, but we just kept going. After paperwork, a movie and more paperwork I went back and the waiting began. I did a urine and blood test and was soon thereafter taken to an ultrasound and a quite painful physical exam. They took me to a waiting room and as I sat in my paper gown I got more and more nervous until they called my name to get the IV set up. They wheeled me into the operating room, stirrup-ed me and began the laughing gas and sedatives at the same time. A few deep breaths later I was really happy. The doctor came in and began inserting things and moving things around, I was talking happily the whole time they were sucking. I got cramps about as bad as my period and felt the contraction and release of the uterus, but was so drugged up I just said “ow” and they cranked up the gas.

They took me into recovery where I had crackers, sprite and pain medication and passed out asleep for about an hour till they let me go get dressed and walk out to my friend. We drove out the electronic fence and came back to the dorms where I've been sort of...out of it. I have cried and thinking about the procedure makes me cringe. But it's not that I regret it. It's more that I never thought I'd have to do this. I never thought I'd need to get this done. And I'm upset that THREE things that should work...didn't. But immediately I knew what I had to do. What was right for the baby that I was already getting attached to and what was right for me and my life. I know over time that I won't cringe at the thought of the procedure and I'll move on happy and renewed with life. I've started a new club on campus. It's a pro-choice/sexual education group. I want to inform girls, women and even boys and men about abortion, pregnancy, adoption, birth control and other things. I want to be a part of the myth-busting and the truth revealing. I've called my brainchild "Children are our Future, but having one will ruin Mine" and I'm really excited. And for right now, a "brainchild" is really the only child I want or need or can handle. I'm not sorry.