Like several other posters, I’ve known since I was very young that I didn’t want to have children. I never baby-sat as a teenager, I never had that physical hunger for a child, and, frankly, I don’t really like kids. I grew up in the 1960s and 1970s, a time of significant social change for women. With one thought in the mindset that women were raised to be wives and mothers and another in the idea that women could do and be anything they wanted, I at first felt very conflicted about my decision to never have children. I made this decision very young, at 13 or 14. There was and is so much social and political pressure that a family is only a mother, father, and 2.5 kids. I never believed that and still don’t and wondered a bit vaguely what was wrong with me that I didn’t want that. But I always knew deep down that it was the right decision for me. Now it angers me that even after all of this time, that belief is so entrenched that it denies rights to other types of families: same-sex partners, single parent adopters, childless men and women and couples. These are all families too.

When I was faced with the first pregnancy, I never even considered the possibility of keeping it. At the time, I was not so long out of high school, working a dead end job, and hating life. The pregnancy and abortion woke me up to the fact that I needed to get on the stick, get into college, and give my life some DIRECTION. I had the abortion in another city about 2 hours away, mainly because that was where my best friend was at the time. She took me in, waited while I had the procedure, and took me to her place to recover. As many others have described, it was uncomfortable, but not painful, the staff was pleasant and respectful. The facilities and equipment were clean. The recovery period was pretty short, and I’ve never suffered any lasting physical or emotional effects from either abortion. I started college the next fall. I very well could have never gone to college and had a totally loser life if not for that wake up call.

The second one was the same: no question whether or not to have it. I was in college, trying to finish my degree, and kicking myself for being careless. This time my boyfriend took me, waited, and took care of me during the recovery. Things had changed a bit since 1979. It was now 1985 or 1986, and the pro-lifers had begun to gather at the gates with signs and epithets. Fortunately, my boyfriend was a very big guy and was very protective of me. He put his arm around me, told the protesters to mind their own business and drew me into the facility. No one bothered us coming or going, but that wasn’t the case for all.

My feeling about pro-lifers has always been "are YOU going to protect the unwanted ones? If I have a baby that I don’t want, are YOU going to adopt it?” Why should a child be brought into this world if it isn’t going to be met with joy? Save the souls for the people who really want children.

I’m not the first to say, “I felt guilty for not feeling guilty.” Like I should have felt guilty for exercising my choice, but I never did. I have always been grateful that I could go to a safe, clean, trained facility for a legal medical procedure. Without it, my life would have become so very different than it is today.

I had both abortions regret-free, and I’ve never looked back.