This could be the tale of two sisters. I was a sophomore in college, 19, and got involved with a guy who was way too old for me. My roommate thought he was a creep and tried to warn me but I didn't listen. I was having fun, it made me feel like a real adult, and I wasn't worried about getting pregnant. He used a condom and besides, we were going to get married eventually anyway. Yeah, right. About three months after we started having sex, I was starting the mornings off by throwing up. He disappeared after the "I'm pregnant" discussion. All he wanted was to have sex with a teenage girl and I believed every lie that he told me. How could I have been so stupid? There was no way I was going to tell my parents. This happened more than 30 years ago, about a year before Roe vs. Wade. Only a couple of places in the country were doing elective abortions. Getting an abortion meant going to New York City. I was in the Midwest with about enough extra cash to buy a candy bar. My roommate dragged me off to see a school counselor who helped me borrow the money, make the arrangements, and get a job on campus to pay off the loan. I flew to NYC by myself, had the abortion, and flew back. It was the most awful experience of my life. I was determined to NEVER go through that again. It was a couple of years before I dated again and I was a lot more careful. I tried but the guys all dumped me after I flatly refused to have sex with them. I even got an IUD just in case some guy refused to take "no" for an answer. Just after I graduated from college, I met my Prince Charming. We dated for about a year with no pressure from him to have sex. He even proposed (for real), bought the rings, and set a date without getting more than a kiss. We've been married for more than 25 years now and have two great kids (and a fun sex life too). He knows about my past - it hurt to tell him but I had to be honest with him about that. I love that guy with all my soul.
My kid sister and I had strict Christian parents. We went to church, sang in the choir, and everything. And other than getting knocked up at 19, I've tried to live that way too. About a dozen years after my experience, we were home for a few days and I met my kid sister's new boyfriend. He was way too old for her, divorced with teenage kids, same story, different ending. By the time I met him, they had been dating for a few months and had just made arrangements for a quickie wedding. Sis gave birth to a baby about six months later (and not a preemie). She thought you couldn't get pregnant the first time you had sex - she was wrong. He didn't think being married should keep him from seeing other women so Sis celebrated their first wedding anniversary by filing for divorce. She has been a single mom with a complete jerk of an ex for the past 18 years. She moved back in with Mom and I don't know how she would have made it otherwise. She's been in therapy ever since and never really dated again. There were times that I though it was decent of him to at least marry her but in the end, the marriage was just another one of his lies.
I'm sorry about a lot of things. Sorry I was so gullible at 19. Sorry I wasn't a virgin for my Prince Charming. But I'm not sorry I had the abortion.
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