It's been almost 13 years since my abortion. It's a pretty typical story. I was 19 and single. I was dating a man from another country. I got pregnant. My mom figured out I was pregnant and confronted me with it not 24 hours after I'd taken the pregnancy test and confirmed it myself. Honestly, it was NOT a healthy pregnancy to begin with: I looked like crap, I felt like crap and I was sick all the time. My boyfriend and I were fighting all the time about his status in the country, what we were going to do so he could stay, and then about what we were going to do about my pregnancy. Well, community environment notwithstanding, my mom raised me to believe in choice. And in my right to choose without input from the father if I needed to. I was really scared to tell my mom, since I was really not up to hearing "I told you so" from her. But for the first time in our very rocky, volatile, dysfunctional relationship she really stepped up to the plate. She was 100% supportive from day one. She made my boyfriend fork over the first $100 for the abortion and then came up with the balance. She drove me to the clinic and she shielded me from the protesters, even managed to mostly control her responses to them, keeping them to a minimum to get me in the door. The clinic wouldn't let her in with me, to protect the privacy of the other women in the office.
For such an anti-abortion community, the clinic was surprisingly well-staffed. And they were wonderful, if businesslike people. The nurse was a sweetheart. The doctor was a bit brisk, but the nurses made up for his attitude. The procedure itself took longer than I thought it would and was probably the most invasive thing I've ever experienced. It was extremely uncomfortable, crossing over into painful a couple of times. It feels like something's in your stomach trying to get out. It makes you wish for plain ol' cramps, that's for sure. Anyway, after the abortion was done, they let me sit for 10 minutes or so for the worst of the pain to go away. Then they moved me into a room with recliners like blood donor chairs where I sat for 30 minutes or so. The nurse came in and gave me some instructions, a prescription for an anti inflammatory and answered my questions. Then they let my mom meet me at the back door with the car and we went home.
I'm pretty open about my abortion. Most of my friends know I've had one. If you ask, I will normally tell you the truth. I have lost friends over this, friends who do not agree with my choice and some who are appalled that I am not guilty about it. Two friends in particular were friends of mine before they were friends with my boyfriend. But their anti-choice beliefs made them pick a side, and mine wasn't it. But I do have friends who are "pro-life/anti-choice" who support MY right to make a choice and feel however I like about it.
I know that had I chosen to have children, I would not be married now. I would not be back in college getting a degree. I would have missed a lot of great experiences. I won't say I feel joyful about having had to make a decision to have an abortion, but I will say that I do not regret it, I would do it again, and I'm glad I was able to have the choice in the first place.
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