I had an abortion 3 years ago. I was going out with a guy I thought I loved. I was on the pill but didn’t like the way I felt on it so I was trying to change my birth control to find something to suit me better. I tried the ring that you insert but found that annoying to use so went back to the doctor to ask advice and she suggested the coil. I went to try to get this fitted but ironically they couldn’t fit it because I’d never been pregnant and my womb wasn’t big enough. I decided I’d try a different method the following week and stupidly didn’t use any contraception for about 3 days. In this time I became pregnant. How ironic! To say that I was distraught is an understatement. I really didn’t know what to do. For the first couple of days my boyfriend was by my side telling me he’d support me no matter what (he already had an 8-year-old from a previous relationship). This didn’t last very long. While I was at my wit’s end trying to decide what to do, he was ignoring my calls and becoming more and more distant. I later found out that this was because he was seeing his ex at the time. After a lot of to-ing and fro-ing I decided to have an abortion. I live in Ireland and had to go to England as abortion is illegal in Ireland. It was the worst day of my life. I was very upset after the termination and it was difficult having him there as even though at the time I was not sure of his infidelity I had my suspicions. For a few weeks after the abortion I was on sleeping tablets and Valium as otherwise I felt unable to cope. He disappeared (until a while later when she no longer wanted him – luckily by then neither did I!). Slowly but surely I came to realise that I had made the right decision. If I had made a different one I would have had my ex in my life in some way for the rest of my life and that was not good for my mental well-being. I also wouldn’t have had the home I have now and I would have had to move to the other side of the country to live with my parents as this would have been the only financially viable option for me.
I am now with someone I love dearly who respects and loves me in return. He is the best thing that ever happened to me and if I’d kept the baby I doubt I would’ve ever met someone as special as him as our paths wouldn’t have crossed. Some day I hope I will have a child – when I am able and ready physically, emotionally and financially. For now though, I am living with the fact that I had an abortion and I’m not sorry.
   |