I am 56 years old and this is my story. My name is Anna; I have had five abortions. As someone else said in her story, you’d think I would have learned. But it’s not that simple. I became pregnant with my first child after quitting birth control pills because they were making me sick, I had completely stopped having periods. I think we got much higher doses of hormones in them back when I started taking them in 1966. I was 23 when my baby was born. A few years later that marriage failed and I was living with a new boyfriend who was a drug dealer when I became pregnant again. I was now 26 and was afraid to bring another child into my life because this new relationship was so unstable and I already had a child who was diabetic and required a great deal of care. I had a hard time making up my mind and it was almost at the end of my first trimester by the time I had the abortion. I was really sad and I cried a lot. But I was never sorry. The next time I got pregnant, I went through with the pregnancy, which was also really hard because I still did not trust this man, though I fooled myself into thinking I could. This man went on to be in my life for ten years and I even married him, in spite of the domestic violence. He broke my ribs and blackened my eyes and caused me to loose all of my girlfriends who said they could not watch this happen to me. During that time I had three more abortions because in spite of using an IUD I kept getting pregnant. I knew, however that I could not have another child with him.
I finally found the courage to leave him. I easily found a new relationship with someone who treated with more respect. I have been with that man for twenty years and we have one child. But that pregnancy was late, I was 39 when that child was born and then I became pregnant again when I was 40. The last pregnancy had been very difficult; I had health problems due to my age and decided my health could not take any more pregnancies. I had my last abortion at that time and went on to have a partial hysterectomy the following year. It was finally over. I am not sorry for any of it. My current husband and I went to marriage counseling for a while and the therapist told me I was a murderer. I told my husband about it and we quit going to see him. I love all three of my sons, but it has been hard raising them. The first and third have both had a lot of medical problems. The second has had problems because I allowed him to maintain a relationship with his dad because he had quit drugs. A boy needs a dad and I hoped knowing his dad would be good for him. It has been better for him to know his dad than to be prevented from seeing him, I guess, but it hasn’t been easy. The guy never has held down a job and now that my son is 26 and doing well, his dad is living with him and mooching off of him. I am so grateful that I did not have any more kids with him. No, no, no, I am not sorry. I have finally been able to go back to school and will finish my BA this year in social science. I will go on to grad school and am thinking about being a counselor for women who are dealing with abortion. I just became aware of this website through one of my professors and it is great to share my story. I haven’t thought about this much for many years, guess that’s how I have had to deal with it. Thanks for listening.
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