I’d always wanted to have kids, but when I got pregnant at 25, I knew I wasn’t ready to be a parent. I liked the guy I was with, but I didn’t love him, and I didn’t want that particular pregnancy. I wanted to finish college and figure out my life.

I was treated pretty incompetently by the clinic where I went for my abortion, and had to spend a lot of time educating the clinic workers about how women choosing abortions want to be treated: with respect, like we are human beings, not just medical cases. That was the one thing that made having an abortion stressful – being treated badly by the very people one would have expected to be understanding and knowledgeable. I credit the anti-abortion folks with helping to create this environment; they’ve successfully raised the level of fear for all involved.

When I told my clinic counselor that I wanted to have a local anesthetic because I felt it was less risky medically, she told me that she felt that women who had full anesthesia wanted to “block out” about the experience, and that I must want to punish my boyfriend because I asked to have him in the room with me when I was having the abortion.

I remember staring at her across the table from me. “But I don’t consider abortion to be a punishment for me or for him,” I replied. Someone had done a really terrible job screening their abortion counselors! I was furious that this person might really do some harm to a younger, more impressionable woman, and I reported her to the clinic manager. I believe in sticking up for myself and others who may be more vulnerable.

Even though I felt fairly informed about the procedure and how to take care of myself afterwards, somehow no one had seen fit to tell me about the possibility of cramps after the abortion. About three or so days after the abortion I had really bad cramps – and because I had no health insurance, it was that much more scary. I spent a couple of days in bed, with a hot water bottle, but recovered with no further difficulties.

I was delighted to discover that I was pregnant at 37. The man I was with didn’t want to be involved, which was also delightful. I credit my son with getting me back to graduate school. I’m a single mom, halfway through law school, training to be a public interest lawyer. I loved having a long, fun, sexually adventurous adolescence, and I can only hope the same for the children of my son’s generation.

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