I am 22 years old and I found out that I was pregnant 5 weeks ago. I had sex with my ex-boyfriend one night and I became fearful that I was pregnant when I felt strong cramps for a week, but my period did not come. I took a pregnancy test and was completely stunned when it came back positive, I went completely numb. The father had just left for a two-week trip to Hawaii, but I was able to reach him to tell him the news. He was really supportive about it, but I could not stop crying all day long. All I could think was that I would be graduating from college in two months and I had my whole future and career to think about.
I knew I could not imagine bringing a child into my pseudo-relationship with the father. We have been together on and off for the last 4 years, but we are not currently together and I knew that we were not ready to have a child together. While we both love each other very much, but there are a lot of things that we need to work out within ourselves and with each other. I agonized over the decision and spent many hours crying, alone, waiting for him to come home. I decided that I really had no choice but to have an abortion and the father agreed to come with me, to make the process as easy as possible.
I went to Planned Parenthood for my appointment three days ago and it was really comforting to see so many other girls waiting to have the procedure done. I had originally planned on having a medical abortion, but decided to have the surgery after speaking to the nurse. I was afraid that the medical abortion would be painful, drawn-out, and possibly unsuccessful. The surgical procedure only lasted a few minutes and I felt fine physically afterwards, with very little bleeding or cramping.
More than anything, I felt relieved afterwards. I thought I would feel horrible and ashamed, but I don’t. I know I made the right decision because I would not want to place a child in the middle of our problems. This experience has actually made me realize that I do want to have children some day, but when the time is right. I want to be able to give a child all the love that he or she deserves, not punish him or her for mistakes I have made.
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