It’s now been 4 weeks since I had an abortion. At 25, finding out I was pregnant made me feel completely stupid for being so careless.
I found out on a Sunday, but I remember that I had gone a week feeling different and trying to bury the thoughts deep in my mind. My body, however, was telling me something else, my breasts were sore, I had some kind of morning sickness and I was peeing every five minutes. It was then that I decided to take a test; I peed in the stick and ran out of the bathroom, my boyfriend and I went together to see that It was positive, we were so in awe that I took 2 more tests with the same result.
I cried, I felt like my world fell apart, my boyfriend (god bless him) just held me and comforted me, he never made it seem like it was something I needed to think through, it was something that we both needed to think through.
I had to work that day, I went through with my work trying to get my mind focused on something else, I couldn’t, I went back home to my boyfriend, we looked at each other and we knew what needed to be done. We talked for hrs, researched on the Internet, read all kind of documents and websites, chatted in support message boards, we had no doubt that the abortion was the way to go.
Next day I called a clinic for an appointment, they scheduled me for noon of next day, that Tuesday I got there with my boyfriend, for security reasons we couldn’t get purses or cell phones in, just an ID and money, we went in and my first thought was of surprise of how full the waiting area was.
We then waited and filled out paperwork for hours, my boyfriend was experiencing denial, he thought I was going to go in and come back saying it was a mistake. But it wasn’t, I went in for the ultrasound and discovered I was 6 weeks pregnant. It took me by surprise, turns out I had no idea it starts counting from the first day of the last period.
I waited some more and finally came in after some group counseling, I changed into a gown and put my clothes in a basket; I was called to the surgical room, I had chosen to be asleep, I was nervous and felt like puking, I laid down with my legs up, the doctor who was very kind and amicable started the IV, I looked at the clock and fell asleep.
I didn’t feel a thing, I later woke up in a recovery room with bad cramps, and they gave me some ibuprofen, crackers and 7-Up. After a few minutes I was able to get up and change, I was given instructions and went out to find my boyfriend waiting for me.
I was in pain all night, but not too bad. The next week was emotional but I never regretted the abortion, I felt bad for the conception since we hadn’t plan for it. I still feel judged every time I see a pro-life reference; but it also reassures me that I made the right decision.
I’m grateful for this experience, I believe it’s made me a more mature woman, it made me realize that I do want kids someday; and it put my life and relationship on a different perspective.
Coming from a strong Catholic family, and a country where there’s no way to have a legal abortion; I’m really glad to have the opportunity of choosing without feeling judged or criticized by people; I feel lucky to be able to choose and I hope sharing my story touches someone, somewhere.