As I’ve said to many people many different times, INS is not about me. I created the site, I write the code for it, but in the end it’s about the stories, women sharing experience and wisdom and hopefully helping someone out there who doesn’t know what to expect or believe. Pay no attention to the chick behind the curtain.
But in the six years INS has been online I’ve done interviews with the mainstream media, interviews that I hoped would conquer the bias and myths and just get the message out there that abortion is common, nothing to be ashamed of, do it and move on. I spent two hours on the phone a couple of years ago with a producer from PBS. Just recently I did an hour long interview with an editor from Glamour. “We’ll want to fly you up to New York, do studio time,” said the PBS producer. “My editor is so excited, this will break ground,” enthused the Glamour editor.
I never heard back from either of them. The Glamour article is out now, but instead of the groundbreaking article I was promised it reads like the typical “hardest decision I ever had to make” tripe, the only acceptable mainstream attitude about abortion. I stood in a Costco warehouse, leafing through a glossy magazine with Jennifer Connelly on the cover, and cursed “goddammit, goddammit” as I perused the article tucked in the back between skinny models wearing clothes I couldn’t begin to afford.
Abortion is an extremely common occurence. It is not wrong or bad or evil, it just is, something that the majority of women on this planet will experience one way or another. All I can do is collect the stories, present them, let them speak for themselves. And maybe one day the mainstream will wake up, present as well and end this bullshit. But I just get tired of speaking my piece only to end up on the cutting room floor or the delete bin. Maybe one day …
Excellent post. It’s clear and strong.
Damn. I can’t wait to read it and then shoot them a letter. for gods sake quit the pearl clutching about abortion!
There are a few women writing articles about abortion that veer away from the ‘hardest decision’ scenarios. Here are a couple from mainstream UK publications. (They are two or three years old, but still worth reading):
http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2006/oct/27/familyandrelationships.health
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/comment/columnists/caitlin_moran/article1645946.ece
By the way, I think this blog and accompanying website are excellent and have not come across anything else like them.
Thanks, Emma. The British seem to be much more pragmatic about abortion than we Americans which is probably why INS gets so much love from our friends on the Isles.
Ok, so the article in Glamour wasn’t exactly great, but I still find it encouraging that a pop-culture magazine found on shelves in real, everyday stores contained these stories, from women unafraid to show their pictures or say “I don’t regret it”. It’s only a matter of time, as long as we keep speaking up.
Yeah, me too thanks you for doing the article. Did they give the link to your blog? Because that is the only requirement to make the story worth it and good – ever. Just make sure you get people here to read the abortion stories and your blog. That is why all the PR work you do is good. It gets women here, where the truth of women’s lives is theirs to read.
They did put a link to INS in the online article. And thanks for your kind words. :)
You said in your post abortion is an extremely common occurance which yes, it is. A google search says about 1.3 million abortions happen annually. And you say you’re tired of abortion being portrayed in the light of “the hardest decision I’ve ever made” maybe that’s because to the majority it is something they regret and they aren’t proud of it. Out of 1.3 million annually with a little more then 800 stories of I’m not sorry after 6 years of being up and running those aren’t good odds. I’m sure there’s plenty out there that haven’t posted that don’t regret their abortion or maybe they just don’t know of this site. But still 800 out of millions. That shows way more odds of women who didn’t have a good experience, who do regret it, who’ve been hurt by it and who are sorry for it. I know you’ve said this is a site for those who aren’t sorry. I’m just saying take a look at the numbers. The huge amount of people who are sorry has got to mean something.
You need to take into consideration that I don’t advertise the site. At all. Any media mentions come from the source coming to me, not from me figuratively knocking on doors. That includes Glamour, PBS, Newsweek, etc. Add in the fact that a lot of women are, frankly, friggin’ paranoid as hell that somehow some anti wackjob is going to read her story, figure out it’s her and come hunt her down despite my reassurances to the contrary and I think over eight hundred stories in seven years isn’t that bad. We all have different definitions of success.
In a poll taken in October 2008 it showed 60% of americans are pro-life as opposed to 40% pro-choice. Showing the majority find something intrinsically wrong with abortion. And just because a few aren’t sorry for their actions doesn’t justify them and certainly doesn’t make it right.
But my point is though that you are pretty well known whether you advertise or not. People do know you’re out there and that this site exists. But the fact is is that there’s so many more stories out there where women were hurt by their abortions and do regret their abortions and the fact that there’s such a significant more number out there that cover that as compared to the few that say I’m not sorry really says something. Oh and by the way I think you mean to be derogatory when you call pro-lifers “antis” but I like that term. I’m proud to consider myself anti killing and doing my part to protect unborn life no matter how tiny they are, no matter what stage of development they are in or at what point the mother is in her pregnancy. So keep using it, it makes us pro-lifers proud! : )
What, proud that you scare women? Well, to each his/her own.
“Pro-life” to me also takes into consideration the life of the woman. Anti-abortion is the truth. And honestly? Antis have done more to publicize the site than any other group or media source. People come running over here for the shock and titillation value of it all and then go talk about it on forums and link it. I see the traffic statistics and also get lots of e-mails from people saying that an anti popped up to link the site and how glad they did because now they can tell their pro-choice friends. You would think you people would be doing everything in your power to make sure no one ever saw it. Yes, INS has been mentioned in some pretty well-known places (not me personally, just the site). But do you know what mention got the site the most hits? Keep in mind Salon, Newsweek, the Nation, okay? World magazine. A CHRISTIAN magazine. Because the fundies treated it like porn, almost falling over themselves to come look at it and then go gasp in outrage in their forums. It was hilarious in its predictability.
Another funny thing–the author of the World article was Lynn Vincent. The same Lynn Vincent who ghostwrote Sarah Palin’s book. This site has gotten me some strange connections …
I do nothing to scare women but that’s nice that you throw that in there to try and make me look like an evil person. : ) And still you’re missing the point. Wherever you get your publicity or traffic doesn’t even matter. My whole point in the beginning is 800 stories in 7 years compared to how many stories of women abortion has actually hurt emotionally, mentally and physically is way way higher. The violence of abortion is not the answer.
From your posts you sound like a bitter, angry person. I know, I know it’s because of all of us antis right? The only person who’s in charge of how you feel and act is you. I hope you find your peace someday.
Found my peace a while ago. I know it drives the antis crazy that I don’t live up to their ideals, that’s why I like fucking with y’all. I love how you all think you’re being original. And I’ve done a few entries in the past thirteen months, comment on them, s’il vous plait.
Cindy,
You said “My whole point in the beginning is 800 stories in 7 years compared to how many stories of women abortion has actually hurt emotionally, mentally and physically is way way higher.”
How do you know that, Cindy? Do you know every woman or girl who has had an abortion? Do you have real statistics? What about the ones who are hurt from adoption or parenting? Do they not matter because the child was born?
Abortion IS the answer for many women.
You are ignorant of what goes on in the world. You must not know about reactive attachment disorder and the over 100,000 children in foster care in the USA along that need permanant homes.
Why on earth would you want a child born into this world that is not wanted? That’s not loving children, that’s being cruel and ignorant.
Never claimed to be original but if you have heard it more then once maybe you should do a little research and listen to it. And no, it doesn’t please me to comment on any more of your posts. Your posts make me sick. I feel sad for you.
Aw, another anti feels sorry for me. I’m touched. And if my posts make you sick you’re like my cat who can’t resist returning to where he puked and eating it. I’ve really tried to break him of that habit but it hasn’t worked. It’s much easier to break the antis of the habit, though, I’ve found.